No More Band-Aids
I have found myself in a very long season of being single.
I wouldn't say it's been by choice, but rather by obedience. I was married for 16 years before I found myself divorced with two kids right before turning 40. As with most people who get married, I never would have expected to end up here.
Yet.... here is where I am.
I have always loved love. I love the idea of being in a relationship. Since I was a little girl, my dream has been to grow old with someone. My parents are doing it; my grandparents have all done it, and their parents did it too.
Yet... here is where I am AND I'm loving it!
I know! WHAT!?!? The peace I have, oh my goodness! There is nothing like it. Don't get me wrong, I still long for "my person", but I am learning the importance of loving my actual person.... me!
I remember as a young girl thinking that being single meant I wasn't good enough for anyone. So I put myself in some really terrible relationships just so I could feel worthy.
Now, as I have been single in my adulthood, it's the opposite. I feel I haven't found anyone worthy of me! I know that might sound arrogant, but I have learned my worth in God through this sweet season of singleness. I have healed from a lot of wounds, some of which were extremely old. It's interesting what I have done in the past to try to heal those wounds on my own.
My little band-aids proved to be for cosmetic purposes, only covering the wound instead of healing it, which then allowed time for infection to spread and poison my heart. This is where the desperation kicked in to try to numb the pain with whoever/whatever I could.
Numbing the pain is quicker than healing it, but we all know, the numbness eventually wears off, leaving us in an unending cycle of "band-aiding". Eventually, we find ourselves with infected old wounds, new wounds, and an empty box of Band-Aids.
That's when we hear God knocking on our heart, and with each knock, little pieces of stone that have been built around it fall off. It then becomes obvious that being able to open the door to Him so He can come in and truly heal us is what was needed all along.
"I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take away your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh." Ephesians 36:26
No one and nothing can heal you like Jesus can, because when He is done, you are left with such peace and love for others AND yourself. It's not an arrogant love. It's a love that respects His work in you, and all you want to do is protect it. He has become my Man and it will stay that way until He sends me someone that loves me like He does.
If you are like me and find yourself in a state of healing, single, don't rush the process. Trust the process, whatever it looks like. While it may be uncomfortable at times, remind yourself that God doesn't do anything to hurt you. Everything He does is to make you completely healed and whole. He will even turn all your past pain into your present testimony that will end up bringing hope to others in the future.
Then one day, when He does bring you together with "your person", you will be wholly healed and band-aid free!
* JUST FYI: This isn't just for the single ladies. It's for anyone who finds themselves covering up pain instead of letting God truly heal it. He's ready when you are! ;)
