My Heart of Worship

Worship.

For me, worship has always included a song. Growing up in church, I was raised singing worship songs on the worship team in a worship service, and I have loved it. There have been many times that I spent kneeling on a floor just soaking in a song and bawling my eyes out. It centers me. When life gets fuzzy, I always sit at my piano and just worship the Lord by singing to Him. It’s become my melodic form of prayer. I can’t just sing a worship song for the sake of singing it. I enter into the words and own them. Whatever emotion comes with that is purely pouring out from my heart. 

Worshipping the Lord with a song is easy for me, and not too long ago, that felt like enough. 

However, something is happening within me lately. I am feeling a strong desire to move deeper into the meaning of worship. It’s causing me to shift from it just being a song to Him. I want to make sure I am living those words out. I can sing a song to Him with ease and truly mean it, but what does my life look like? Am I worshipping Him with that also? What’s in my heart? Does it bring Him honor?

There is a song that has been rolling around in my brain lately. It’s called “Heart of Worship” by Matt Redman.

Those words have been piercing my heart. 

Worship means giving honor and adoration to God. Just as much as my song honors the Lord, I want my life to do the same, and I want it to be as loud as my song is. As I sing and my voice moves with the notes of a song, I want my life to move to the sound of His voice. If He says move, I want to move. If He says stay still, I want to hold my position. Like training my voice to sing the right notes, I want to also train my ears to hear His voice with the same clarity and confidence I can with music.

I’m not just singing “I trust in God!”, I want to live it! I want my life to be my stage.

When thinking about worship in the Bible, my mind automatically goes to when David danced before the Lord. He was doing it because something mighty had happened in his life. His life of worship created that beautiful moment. Numerous songs he wrote were his personal conversations to the Lord. Paul and Silas were chained in prison when they decided to sing out to the Lord, causing a physical reaction in the earth. But then I think of Abraham, who worshiped the Lord by surrendering his son. The disciples worshipped the Lord through giving up their livelihoods to preach God’s Word. It was their life that worshipped God, not just a song.

That’s what I am desiring. I want my worship to be seen through my life, not just heard through a song. I want the earth to rattle because of my honor and adoration of the Lord. I want to strip off everything holding me back from giving Him all of me, and when I do sing a song, I want it to be a personal conversation directly to Him.

Yeah. That’s my heart for worship.

It’s more than a song. It’s more than words moving to a rhythm. It’s my life moving to His voice.