I am a mom of two boys who make a lot of mistakes. They spill things, break things, forget when I tell them to do something, and the list goes on and on. They apologize when they realize they have made these mistakes, sometimes cry, and say they will never do them again. I know, from personal experience, they absolutely will do them again. They will spill something again. They will break something again. They will even disobey my sweet instructions again.
Something I have noticed about myself when they make these mistakes is that I tend to get mad. One day I caught myself raising my voice at my son for spilling his drink and thought how silly it was that I was getting mad about that. It was an accident. Why am I getting mad at him for making a simple mistake? Then I thought back to my childhood. I had amazing parents, but they also had a tendency for getting angry at me for making mistakes. Then I watched other parents whose child would drop something or fall off something. The parents would run over to make sure their child wasn’t hurt and then hurt their feelings by yelling at them.
It’s interesting that we get so upset over something all of us do. Everyday, we will make some sort of mistake because we are human. Not one of us is perfect. So why do we have such harsh reactions?
I hate making mistakes. I immediately feel like a failure and that I am letting someone down by not being good enough. I have a hard time seeing mistakes for what they truly should be seen as….growth. Every time I have made a mistake in the past I have learned what not to do and/or how to do something better. I have grown from it.
I have heard it said that it’s not about making mistakes, it’s about what you do with them that matters. I love that because it helps me see that making a mistake isn’t failure. I will make mistakes every day and it’s o.k. because I learn from them. I have learned to give myself and others grace for not being perfect. I have learned to laugh at myself. I have learned what best cleans up stains when something spills. I have learned that glass breaks when I drop it on hard surfaces. I have learned that it hurts when I trip and fall. I know some may seem like silly lessons, but all are lessons nonetheless.
As a mom, I am trying to handle my kid’s mistakes better. I don’t want them to feel ashamed for making a mistake because of my reaction. I want to empower them and not tear them down. I want to teach them that making mistakes isn’t a failure. It’s a chance to learn what doesn’t work and be encouraged to find what does.
So, if you, like me, tend to see mistakes as failures, try embracing them, giving everyone grace to grow.
